


the on and off again relations of tweek and craig

by thelotusflower



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Middle School Dance, craigs pov, i seriously have no idea, idiot kids in love, not sure yet - Freeform, one shot or... series?, pretending or not pretending, this summary sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 21:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelotusflower/pseuds/thelotusflower
Summary: For whatever reason, he felt a tang of sadness when they “broke” up, but he’s pretty sure it was just the worry of losing Tweek as a best friend, since their fake-relationship is what united them.Everything ended up being fine though. They still hang out all the time, and there’s only a tiny part of him that feels weird that he can’t hold the boy’s hand. It’s almost been a year though, (Craig knows this because the seventh grade dance is Friday,) and Craig is getting used to it......Craig and Tweek broke up at last year's school dance because no one cares about them being together anymore.Craig and Tweek don't want to go to this year's dance, so they skip.They get caught, and find themselves pretending to be gay once more.





	the on and off again relations of tweek and craig

Mondays are always a drag; Craig’s _least_ favorite day of the week (of course, because it’s a _normal_ day to hate.) Craig is all about normal, boring, mundane, ordinary stuff; that’s why he ignores the assholes at his school most of the time. They are always getting into the most _ridiculous, outrageous,_ and most of the time, _illegal_ situations.

Craig is in the principal’s office, often, but that’s for _normal_ middle-school boy stuff. The assholes in his grade (Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny) skip the principals office completely, and go straight to the fucking UN Security Council.

So, Craig avoids them. He’ll occasionally hang out with them, but once they start discussing their dumb-ass plans and ideas, Craig makes his way out, in no way looking to get into another situation like _Peru_ with them, (which wasn’t even a big deal to them–just another “adventure.”)

Craig instead surrounds himself with a more mellow, normal, usual crowd, like Token, whose probably the most logic and smart guy in his grade, Clyde, whose a cry-baby, but too scared to get into any _major_ shit, and Jimmy, who tells his perverted jokes and hits on _way_ too many girls, but is overall an ordinary middle school kid.

Then, there is Tweek, who he supposes is an exception to the rule, because Tweek is definitely anything but ordinary. He’s been addicted to coffee probably since in the womb, like his parents’ probably injected it into his system while he was still a zygote. He is almost _always_ shaking, or jittery, or twitching, or making some weird-ass squirming noises, but it’s very much in the background. It’s almost of become like white-noise to Craig. He doesn’t even really notice it. He notices it more when he is _still,_ which mostly happens when they are alone.

Not only is Tweek an interesting, different individual, his friendship with the boy is also very odd–very against the dedication to normality that Craig chooses to live by.

They were always friends, but they didn’t start really hanging out a lot until that whole _yaoi_ thing, which lasted like, two-ish, years–as in they pretended to be gay _together_ for like two-ish years. During that time, they became best friends. Craig’s never really had a best friend before Tweek. He was close with Token and Clyde, but they weren’t really _best friends,_ like how him and Tweek are.

He was a little worried that after the Yaoi thing, they’d stop hanging out as much, but everything ended up being fine–being the same. They just stopped holding hands, and he stopped calling Tweek stupid pet names, and they stopped being a _couple._

It was a mutual break up–he’s not sure if he should even refer to it as that, considering it was not a real relationship to begin with. They both realized no one really cared about them anymore after the sixth-grade formal, so what was the point of keeping up an act?

For whatever reason, he felt a tang of sadness when they “broke” up, but he’s pretty sure it was just the worry of losing Tweek as a best friend, since their fake-relationship is what united them.

Everything ended up being fine though. They still hang out all the time, and there’s only a tiny part of him that feels weird that he can’t hold the boy’s hand. It’s almost been a year though, (Craig knows this because the seventh grade dance is Friday,) and Craig is getting used to it.

 

They’re on the bus to school, Craig sitting by Tweek, and Clyde and Token in front of them.

Clyde is talking about the dance, who he’s gonna ask, what he’s gonna wear, who’s going to DJ, blah.

“I’m going to ask Bebe,” Clyde declares with confidence that Craig knows will evaporate as soon as he encounters the girl.

“Just don’t choke,” Token advises, smirking.

Last year, Clyde ended up choking, just sputtering out words and muttering nonsense. Bebe rejected him before he could even ask, and then Clyde cried.

“I’m not the same person I was last year. I’ve matured.” Clyde straightens his back as he says this, nose pointed upward and arms crossing. “My voice is deeper. I grew a few inches. I’m a new man.”

“I literally saw you cry last week, and heard your voice crack already twice this morning,” Craig points out in the deadpan, receiving a laugh from both Token and Tweek.

Clyde glares at his monotone friend, before switching his stare over Tweek, “really, Tweek? You too? You’re laughing at me?” he whines, usually receiving empathy from the twitchy boy.

Tweek stops laughing and shrugs. “Sorry, man, he’s, nnn, right,” he says, receiving a smile from Craig beside him. “Rrrr, he’s a dick, but he’s right.”

Craig frowns at him now, making Tweek smile more.

“You’re all dicks!” Clyde expresses, frowning. He crosses his arms, and turns from them, slouching in his seat like a child. Craig thinks he hears him mumble something about ‘assholes don’t know anything,’ but he tunes him out as Token begins talking to them.

“Are you guys going with anyone, since, I mean, you’re not going together this year, right?”

Craig feels a hotness spread over his face, the question strange and surprising. Why would they go _together?_ Token knows they broke up. Hell, Token even knows the whole thing was a charade.

“AGH!” Tweek yelps before Craig can even think of a reply. “Why would we–gah–go–together?” he asks, Craig feeling him jump a little in his seat. He doesn’t dare to look over to him though, in fear that the boy will notice the red on his face that he is sure there.

Token shrugs. “Don’t know. Old times sake? It was just a question. Joke, really,” Token brushes it off like it’s nothing. “So… are you going to ask anyone, then?” he glances between them both.

Craig eyes Tweek. Tweek eyes him back. He tries to read the glint in his eyes, but all he sees is nervousness and uncertainty. Craig looks back over to Token and shrugs. “Everyone kind of sucks.”

Honestly if the dance wasn’t mandatory (it’s during school hours–yes, it’s _that_ lame,) Craig probably wouldn’t go–no, in fact, he’s certain he wouldn’t go. He doubts Tweek would either, not a fan of crowds or large events.

Token eyes Tweek, awaiting an answer from him. Craig looks over to him too. He’s twitching a lot, his hands wringing in and out. Craig huffs out a small, little breath. He used to do that a lot when they were pretending, and Craig could get him to stop by holding his hand. That would be weird to do now, though.

“AH! No, way too much pressure!”

Craig was expecting that answer, and for whatever reason, it pleases him. That he knows him so well? He isn’t sure.

“Well, good,” Token smiles easily. “Look’s like we’ll all at least be going stag.” He pauses. “I’m pretty sure Kyle’s going to ask Nichole.”

They broke up a few months prior. Craig, for the life of him, cannot remember why.

“Doesn’t mean she’ll say yes.”

Token smiles.

“Also, pretty sure Clyde will be going stag, too. Let’s be honest.”

Clyde suddenly jumps out, turning around in his seat. He glowers at Craig, and  attempts to throw a punch to his shoulder, but Craig blocks it with his forearm, making Clyde wince in pain at the unexpected impact. Clyde winces, “ow!” he whines.

Craig just flips him off, everyone laughing.

“She’ll say yes,” Clyde says. “And then I’ll have the hottest date in the school, and you losers will be alone, and then whose winning?” he grins cheekily.

Craig rolls his eyes, but lets him have it.

 

Bebe ends up, surprisingly, somehow, mysteriously saying yes, which Clyde brings up, every single minute, every single _day,_ leading up to the dance.

Kyle ends up asking Nichole, but she says no, and to everyone’s surprise, _she_ asks _Token,_ who says yes, and tells them (Craig and Tweek) he’s sorry for ditching them. Craig shrugs it off, and Tweek says he had a feeling they’d get back together, which Token just laughs at.

The day before the dance, Tweek’s at Craig’s house. They’re in his basement, playing with Stripe, which is still _their_ pet, together or not. Craig has music playing at a low volume, just a Spotify playlist of songs he thinks Tweek would appreciate.

They smoked a little weed that Craig bought from Stan. He’s not high though, and Tweek’s just a little bit calmer.

It’s really fucking cold in his basement because they don’t get heat down here, and instead just use space heaters. The space heaters don’t seem to be working as well today. Craig will probably sneak Stripe #4 to his room tonight to sleep with, (even though his mother gets mad because he always ends up peeing on his sheets.)

Tweek’s wrapped in a blanket, the guinea pig in his hands, a small smile to his face. He’s not twitching at all, or making any sounds. He looks peaceful. Craig quietly takes out his phone and takes a picture, posting it on snapchat with no caption. He saves the picture.

“Are you, nnn, regretting not asking anyone? To the dance?” Tweek asks out the blue, setting the guinea pig back in his pen.

Craig furrows his eyebrows, caught off guard by the question. Tweek’s still watching their pet. Craig trains his eyes on Stripe #4, too.

“No.” He says simply. He mulls over it for a second. That is the truth. He doesn’t want to really go with anyone. He much rather just hang out with Tweek and Stripe #4. “I don’t even want to go.”

Tweek makes a noise, one of his noises that Craig has stopped really noticing, and has only noticed now because of the lull in conversation.

“Me–agh–either.”

Craig stares at Stripe #4, then Tweek. Tweek’s staring at him, wide-eyed, frowning.

“Let’s not, then,” Craig suggests, like it’s just a choice.

Tweek shakes his head sharply, “what? AUGH! Skip? Craig. We can’t. Nnn, they’d notice.”

Craig shrugs. “Who cares? Neither of us want to be there.”

“AUGH!” he pulls on his hair. Craig frowns, he _wants_ to pull his friend’s wrist back, but wouldn’t that be weird for a friend to do? “What if we get _caught–_ and then my parents find out–and get mad because I’m not attending a school function, and they get mad because they want me to be social, and make memories,–”

“Tweek, calm down.” He tells him. “It’s just an idea, okay? You don’t have to do it.”

“Will you, nnn–so,—are you going to not go, then?” he asks after a moment.

He thinks of Tweek, and feels guilty just ditching him, leaving him at a dumb, middle school dance to fend off demon middle school girls by himself, and stupid teachers who urge you to ask people to dance, and the bad, poppy, music they play and the terrible punch they provide. Craig cringes at it all, and says, “I’ll only not go, if you skip with me.”

Tweek  pulls on his hair again, letting out another welp of dismay. “Jesus! I don’t want to be the reason you are forced to go, man! You’re–you can do, should skip if you want.” He has this frantic look in his deep pale green eyes, and Craig sighs.

He goes against his better judgment and goes over to his former, fake, boyfriend and grabs his hand out of his hair, and holds it. He doesn’t intertwine their fingers or anything, he just _holds_ it. Tweek does stop freaking out, but another look’s on his face–alarm, confusion.

He lets go of his hand, and grips his shoulder instead. “It’s not a big deal. It was just a suggestion,” he lets go of his shoulder and crosses his legs, and sits beside him, staring at Stripe #4. “The dance will just suck. It would be cool to do something else, but I wouldn’t want to if you didn’t come with me.”

Tweek swallows. A long pause hangs between them.

“What if we get caught?” he asks again, this time not freaking out, or jumping to conclusions, but looking for an answer.

“We could pull the gay card?” Craig suggests, shrugging.

“We can’t. We broke up.”

“Maybe we got back together. They don’t know.”

Tweek bites his lip, mulling over the idea. Craig knows Tweek will have to overthink it for a few minutes before giving him an actual answer. So, he lets him, and just listens to the music, and watches Stripe #4 and occasionally Tweek.

Eventually, Tweek says, “fine. Yeah, let’s do it.”

 

So, the next day they skip.

They don’t do anything over the top. When the dance starts, and classes are ushered to the Gym, the two meet at the boys’ locker room, and sneak out of the athletic doors.

The dance is two hours.

They go to the woods, and fuck around there for awhile. Craig plays music on Spotify, and Tweek does some bird watching, Craig half-listening as Tweek reads off information about them from his bird-watching book he got for Christmas. It’s way better than the dance ever could be.

They return to the school fifteen minutes before the dance ends, finding Cartman and his crew outside the athletic doors. Tweek and Craig left a piece of cardboard in between the door so they wouldn’t get locked out, and be able to easily sneak back in, instead of having to go to the front of the school enterence. That piece of cardboard is now on the ground in front of the floor. _Of course._

It ranks of weed. Also, _of course._

Kenny and Stan appear to be stoned out of their minds, as Cartmen and Kyle fight over who got them locked out.

“What the fuck did you assholes do?” Craig demands, coming closer to them now.

“This fucking fat ass got us locked out!” Kyle points at him, red in the face and nearly growling.

“No, this _jew_ is lying. It was my idea to put the cardboard there in the first place.”

“Fuck you, fat ass, it was already there when we came out!”

“Because I put it there!”

“Fuck you. We put it there,” Craig snaps. “Jesus _fuck_. Even when I don’t hang out with you guys, you manage to pull some bull shit.”

“AUGH!” Tweek yelps. He pulls on  his hair, “we’re not going to get back in!”

“Yeah, dummy, what do you think we are yelling about?” Cartman snarls.

Craig glares at Cartman. “We are just going to have to go to the front.”

“No, dude, it’s fine. Butters is coming to let us in,” Kyle tells him.

Craig looks at Tweek, whose looking at him back, his eye twitching. It’s either trusting these assholes, or taking the chance of the front doors, which would mean having to walk through the whole school. He shrugs at Tweek. “What do you want to do, Tweek?” he asks.

“Ahhh, too much pressure,” he shakes his head. “We’re going to get caught.”

“We’re not–,” and just as Craig begins to reassure him, the athletic door is opening, and there stands Butters, but also Mr. Roberts, a seventh grade homeroom teacher, _Craig’s_ homeroom teacher.

Fuck.

 

Butters gave them away. The hallway to the doors were blocked off by teachers, and Butters tried to sneak by, but couldn’t, without getting caught. When asked why Butters was trying to sneak out, he freaked out, and tattled that his friends were stuck outside.

He sits in the principals office with the assholes he does not consider friends, and Tweek.

Butters talks to the principal first, coming out, grumbling something about his stupid pals and grounded, and so on. Cartman’s group is pulled into the office next, leaving Tweek and Craig alone.

“We’ll be okay,” Craig says, almost saying, _babe._ He’s mostly gotten himself out of the habit, but when trying to comfort Tweek, he always feels it on the tip of his tongue.

“Augh!”

“Gay card,” Craig nods at him.

Tweek nods back.

Cartman and his group comes out a couple minutes later, Cartman and Kyle arguing, Kenny laughing about something, and Stan looking partially dead inside, but still pretty high.

Craig doesn’t bother to ask their punishment.

Craig and Tweek go in next. The principal asks them if they were smoking too, and they shake their heads.

“We aren’t even friends with them.”

“Butters Scotch told us he didn’t know why you two were out there. He said he didn’t know you two were there, only the others, so please, tell me what you were doing, outside of school, while you were supposed to be in the gymnasium? Tucker, since it’s you, I cannot expect it will be anything good.”

Tweek and Craig eye other. Tweek quirks an eyebrow up. For anxious as he is, he’s pretty good at improv. Craig is in here a lot, but Tweek is a pretty good kid. A kid who stays out of trouble, and reliable. He’s trustworthy. Craig is _not_. That is why Tweek answers.

“The dance gives me anxiety–there is, uh, too many people. It’s loud, and it’s uncomfortable for me. I was feeling overwhelmed, so… I asked Craig to come outside with me…,” he looks down at his lap, his shoulders caving in.

He’s a good actor.

Craig feels bad. This was _his_ idea, not Tweek’s. He shouldn’t get the blame. He bites his tongue though, waiting for the principal to respond, whose processing what she’s just been told.

“Why didn’t you tell a teacher?” she asks.

“Afraid they wouldn’t let me.”

“Hmmm,” she mulls. “Well, it’s still unacceptable behavior. Two weeks detention.”

“Two weeks?!” Tweek’s eyes bulge out. “My parents–argh–they’ll kill me! I won’t be able to go to work.”

“You should have thought about this before,” she simple shrugs, crossing her arms.

Craig feels its time to pull out the _gay_ card.

“Look, we didn’t want to mention this, well, because we just… feel awkward about it, but we are the only gay couple at this school. We saw everyone dancing, and being _together,_ but it’s all boys and girls, and we just… we felt out of place, ma’am.”

Tweek is looking over at him. His eyes are wide and narrowed on him. Craig looks at him with an encouraging look. Offering a little smile. “My boyfriend here already suffers with anxiety, and the whole thing just… it felt… unwelcoming.”

Tweek looks at their principal and nods.

Craig offers his hand out, and Tweek takes it, like they used to do all the time.

The principal glances at their hands, then back at the two of them. She’s still questioning their sincerity, still pondering what to do about this.

“We really didn’t intend anything wrong, ma’am,” Tweek says in a small voice. “We just wanted to go somewhere where we could be… us.”

She bites her lip, tapping her nails to the desk. She smacks her tongue against the roof of her mouth before speaking. “I wasn’t aware that you didn’t feel comfortable in this school. We will definitely have to work on this. I’m sorry about it,” she frowns. She lets her eyes flock down to their hands, then back at them. “How about this? We let this go,” she throws her hands up.

The boys smile. “Really?” Craig asks.

“That would be… nice.” Tweek says. “Thank you.”

“Yes,” she nods. “I don’t want my students to feel this way, but you two need to speak up more about this issue. I promise I’ll arrange an assembly on accepting gay relationships. I have a zero tolerance rule on gay slander.”

“That would be _great_ ,” Craig says.

“Yeah, I think that’ll help a lot,” Tweek adds.

The principal smiles. “Good! Well, I’m glad we got this all settled. This school will be a better place one day, boys, I promise. You’re free to go.”

They get out, still hand and hand, keeping up the display. As they leave the room, the principal shouts out, “just stay away from those other boys. They’re trouble!”

Craig calls back, “you got it.”

They leave the office snickering. School’s out now, everyone gone home.

They have to walk home because they missed the bus, but the day was worth it.

They laugh and laugh at the principal, and guess how much in trouble the rest of the kids got in, estimating a three day suspension for Kyle and his friends, and a week detention for Butters, while they got off scar free just because of the gay card.

“We should–nnn, we should probably keep it up though, right?” Tweek asks. “I mean, just for a little while–for it to not be suspicious.”

Craig eyes him, glancing down at his hands. He takes Tweek’s hand, warm in his, and lets out a huff of air. “Round two?” he states.

“Round two.” Tweek smiles.

He smiles back.

They walk the rest of the way home, hands clutched together.

 

 

On Monday morning, Token tells them he knew they'd end up back together. Craig thinks it's odd because Token knows they were faking it, so it's not like they were ever really together in the first place, but he lets it go. He doesn't really feel like delving into a conversation with his friend about it. He doesn't care enough to correct him--that this is once again, for a show, and that he's wrong on so many levels. The fight just doesn't seem worth it to Craig.

For some reason, that Monday morning doesn't seem as bad as the last. 

He refuses to believe its because he gets to hold Tweek's hand the whole bus ride.

That would be weird.


End file.
